You don’t have to buy anything.

Ever been invited to a party?  You know, this kind,  “Just come and eat, you don’t have to buy anything.” My response is always a simple, “No, thanks.” I don’t elaborate; I have saved that for all of you.

Tupperware – I don’t need Tupperware. I don’t cook.  I didn’t say I can’t, I just said I don’t.  I eat eggs –five nights a week.  Eggs, spinach, salsa, cheese, and mustard what more could a girl ask for.  The last time I cooked was Hurricane Sandy – October 2012.  My roommate can attest to this.

Thirty-One – I have a lunch box.  I don’t need another one and I don’t want any bags with those absurd patterns on them.  I am not a mom, I do not wear mom jeans, and I do not need a mom bag or a purse skirt.  A purse skirt…. is that skirt for real?

Mary Kay – I don’t wear foundation, concealer, blush, etc.  I swear by Wet n’ Wild eye shadow, the $5 green and pink Maybelline mascara, and Maybelline eyeliner.  Once in a while people give me compliments.

Pampered Chef – I don’t cook.  Let’s go back there. I don’t need a salad spinner.  I let the kale dry on the counter before making kale chips.  Please not that I only make kale chips after I have eaten everything else in my kitchen.

Trunk Show – I don’t even know what that is.  I have been told it’s a purse-buying event.  I have a black purse and a brown purse.  They are sufficient.  I don’t need another one.  I also have a satchel crossover so I don’t get mugged. Or if I do get mugged at least I really notice it, probably end up with whiplash.

So no, I am not coming to your “party.”  Yes, I did put it in quotes because really, a party?  I am not busy.  I am not pretending to make an excuse.  I will be honest.  I will tell you that I am not coming because I know how the old, “you don’t have to buy anything,” works.  $73.46 later I have all kinds of skirt I don’t need.

Females throw Pinterest inspired parties.  Entirely too much time is spent cleaning, cooking, and attempting to outshine the last bash.

Males buy beer and if their buddies are lucky, they fire up the grill.



4 thoughts on “You don’t have to buy anything.

  1. this. this is why we are soul mates. I happily turned down two of these parties recently, and I couldn’t agree more with your sentiments. Although I do cook, I have no need, nor a place for that odd gadget or kitchen accessory. Also, I’d rather buy a new shirt.

    p.s. Hopefully we will be seeing your face soon!

  2. how about a vitamix party? i almost bet if they existed i could get you outta my place $500 later. it would change your life. and “cooking” habits. Also, I believe mom jeans are now out and “Not Your Daughter’s Jeans” are in. just sayin’

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